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Who keeps the engagement ring ?

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Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by roxanna on Mon May 07, 2012 3:55 pm

when the couple break up?
this was asked on y/a recently.
I've always thought that if she breaks up,he gets the ring back,if he breaks up she keeps it,that seems fair to me.
It surprised me that some people thought the ring was 'on loan' and always went back to him.

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Ja'aj on Mon May 07, 2012 11:53 pm

As I've always understood it ... you're correct, Roxanna.
The "dumpee" gets the ring.

Another P.O.V. I've always heard espoused is that the
ring is a GIFT... no matter what.

Then there's the one that says, the ring "seals the deal/promise".
([You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] acts as a bribe? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]) [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
If that promise is broken, the ring goes to whichever person
did not "break" the promise.

Personally, I think you and I have the most equatable plan -
the deal-breaker looses.
Certainly I think the gentleman should insist that the ring is hers if he
dumps her. (Unless, of course, the breakup is due to the other party's infidelity.)

Now... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]in a court of law ... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] the decision from the bench is
almost always that the purchaser owns the ring.


And ALWAYS, the ring(s) belong to the wife as soon as she is
in fact 'the wife'.

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by roxanna on Tue May 08, 2012 2:10 am

So Jaáj, bottom line, the ring is 'on loan?' Shocked
INJAN GIVER !!!
I NEVER expect anything back I've given to anybody,not even photos,I'd rather they dump them ! Very Happy

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Tue May 08, 2012 4:16 am

Interesting!
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I never gave it much thought! Shocked

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by roxanna on Tue May 08, 2012 4:42 am

there's a thought.If the ring is a family heirloom ,there should be a pre nub agreement that it goes back to the family, now that I do have to agree with.
interesting link.

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Tue May 08, 2012 4:47 am

I'm thinking you shouldn't give anything you expect back... ever.
If it means that much to the giver, he or she... should keep it.

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Ja'aj on Tue May 08, 2012 5:25 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Roxanna,
"INJAN GIVER !!!" ???
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]ATTA GIRL, ROX ! Keep the loot! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Bree,
I agree with Roxanna; I like that site! Thanks. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Mostly... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I agree with the "a gift is a gift " P.O.V. -
otherwise the item becomes something else other than a gift.
(I like bribe ...[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.])
BUT... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] in the case of an engagement ring ...
I think it is already understood to be 'something else'.
I think it is a declaration of intent given in token of a
'good faith' bargain.
If the bargain isn't kept then the deal is off and the token
should be returned.
(If the giver wants her to keep the jewelry, he will say so.)

And also I think that If he's the one who does the "I changed my mind"
I think he should (!) give her the ring at that time. (The cad [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.])

I too read the "heirloom/pre-nup" item on the About.com site.
GOOD IDEA! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I hadn't considered that one...
(not many 'heirlooms' around here [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.])

BUT... SERIOUSLY...
do you really imagine/think that if that engagement had
been broken Princess Diana's RING [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ought not to have
been returned?!?
Yeah... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] ... dammit ... me either.
(And I'm CERTAIN ! 'they' got that one in writing!) [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by roxanna on Tue May 08, 2012 10:09 pm

Jaáj, In the back of my mind ,I did see Diana, and agree with you .
No heir looms here !
My ex gave me the loveliest Diamond engagement ring ,we chose it together, I LOVED it, but it got lost or stolen,about 3-4 years after we were married.I think I would have given it to my daughter when I gave her the wedding ring,I told her she could have it when she turned 18,she was 16 at the time and wanted it then. yep, she lost it within a couple weeks !! NO problem about what to do with rings around here,just lose them !

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Ja'aj on Tue May 08, 2012 11:58 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] I'm sorry, Roxanna! My wedding ring -and my favorite
(2nd favorite, maybe) piece I've ever owned also 'disappeared'.
(I suspect a 3-year-old son) [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Yeah... when an entire nation thinks of your jewelry as theirs too...
ya need a plan. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Ja'aj on Wed May 09, 2012 7:47 am

I'll tell ya one thing for sure...no one would EVER! get this ring away from me...[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Tater Salad on Fri Feb 07, 2014 4:50 am

What's going on?

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Fri Feb 07, 2014 7:17 am

It seems that since I am redoing things, Google decided some will be new again and this will probably happen again.So, after I have left enough time for you to read this, I will delete yours and my comments since they have nothing to do with the whole question.  thinking taunt 

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Re: Who keeps the engagement ring ?

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