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What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

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What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Mon Mar 07, 2016 8:10 am

How do you feel and how do you react?

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:09 am

I turn into the Incredible Hulk.

No, but seriously, I tend to walk away, before I say or do something I'll regret later.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Tue Mar 08, 2016 8:09 am

Walking away isn't always an option. When that happens, I feel frustrated and helpless and I don't like that!

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:32 pm

The best example I can think of, for the situation you are talking about, is the one we discussed before, when I was robbed. I agree, it's not a good feeling.

Although I was grateful that I was not hurt, a lot of mixed emotions roiled through my mind afterwards, from frustration to anger, helplessness, rage...

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Tue Mar 08, 2016 5:04 pm

I can relate to that...

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:46 pm

I try to avoid conflict, but it is not always possible. I try to make the peace, but end up feeling hurt that I put up with nonsense from some people, just so we can move on. But it seems to continue to be the same issues that arises again and again, which makes me wonder am I doing the wrong thing by keeping everything "nice" just so the other person does not walk away feeling bad.
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Sat Mar 19, 2016 6:43 pm

Avoiding or solving conflicts can be a good thing, but it has to be give and take, not one person giving and the other taking.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Sun Mar 20, 2016 5:49 am

I agree Tater... but what do you do if the person who continues to place you in a bad place, is someone you want to always be in your life?
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:02 pm

Then you let them know how you feel. If there is always no give and all take, is it worth it?

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:12 pm

Very good advice Tater.. not always easily done.. but has to be done. No one likes to be a door mat.
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Sun Mar 20, 2016 9:01 pm

Tater Salad wrote:Then you let them know how you feel. If there is always no give and all take, is it worth it?
Is it worth it? I think each person decides what he/she can deal with and live with... and sometimes, it's just a matter of when enough is enough.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Tue Mar 22, 2016 4:09 am

I know it isn't easy, but I speak from experience. I have been in that situation, and while it was difficult to let go of a friendship, I got to a point where I realized that the relationship was only going in one direction..

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Tue Mar 22, 2016 7:56 am

It can be extremely hard when it is someone who is very close to you.. or a relation.
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Tue Mar 22, 2016 8:11 am

Sad  Somewhere in there... saying goodbye...it's really hard, even if it might be best.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Wed Mar 23, 2016 2:05 am

Yes, it is hard, but in order to help other people, you have to take care of yourself too.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Wed Mar 23, 2016 7:36 am

Tater Salad wrote:Yes, it is hard, but in order to help other people, you have to take care of yourself too.
Is this something you always knew and followed or did it come later in life?

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:07 am

Unfortunately, it came later in life; it would have been quite useful if I had figured it out earlier.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:00 am

Tater Salad wrote:Unfortunately, it came later in life; it would have been quite useful if I had figured it out earlier.
I think that's most things. We figure them out later because we have lived and learned.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:02 am

Why are the hardest lessons learned usually too late?
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:40 am

Not really too late...maybe lesson learned before it's too late?

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:49 am

What about when the other party believes it is too late??? Even when you think it is still worth trying?
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Breezey Breezey on Thu Mar 24, 2016 9:28 am

I think you went from lessons learned to not giving up on something?
Not sure you can change someone's mind if they don't care to change it. You can try, but some people just stick with what they already believe.

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Thu Mar 24, 2016 5:13 pm

lorry p wrote:Why are the hardest lessons learned usually too late?

I can't speak for everybody, but for me, I think it's mostly because of my thick skull and stubbornness!

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:53 pm

No Breezey.. you are right.. you can't change someone's mind unless they care to see things from not just their perspective but that of others as well. Some people also want to believe the worst to make themselves feel better about the way they behave.
Tater.. we can all be thick skulled and stubborn.. lol. Just it doesn't always achieve the best outcome.. ha ha ha
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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by Tater Salad on Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:33 am

One good thing about having a hard head -
fewer concussions!

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Re: What happens when you're in negative situations you can't control?

Post by lorry p on Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:39 am

Think I need to develop a harder head!!!
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